"Headstone" and "grave marker" are often used as if they mean the same thing, but in cemetery language they usually don't. A headstone normally means an upright stone that stands at the head of a grave, while a grave marker is the broader term and most often refers to a flat or low memorial set at or near ground level. Which one you can choose depends less on taste than on the rules of the cemetery where the grave is.
The basic types of memorials
Cemeteries and monument dealers use a handful of standard terms. Knowing them makes it much easier to read a cemetery's rules and compare quotes.
| Type | What it looks like | Where you usually see it |
|---|---|---|
| Flat (flush) marker | A slab set level with the grass, often granite or bronze on a granite base | Memorial parks, lawn sections, veterans cemeteries |
| Bevel marker | A low block, slightly higher at the back so the face tilts upward, a few inches above ground | Traditional cemeteries with "low marker" sections |
| Slant marker | A taller wedge with a sloping face, usually on a base | Traditional cemeteries |
| Upright headstone | A vertical stone (the "die") standing on a base | Most traditional and church cemeteries |
| Ledger | A flat slab covering the whole length of the grave, sometimes paired with an upright stone | Older cemeteries, the Southern US, some family plots |
| Monument | A larger upright memorial, often carrying a family name, sometimes with individual markers around it | Family lots in traditional and historic cemeteries |
| Footstone | A small stone at the foot of the grave, sometimes with initials only | Older burials, some family lots |
Many older cemeteries also contain obelisks, pedestal monuments, tablet stones and cast zinc or iron markers from the 1800s. Those forms are rarely made today but you will meet them often if you visit historic cemeteries.
Headstone: the upright option
An upright headstone gives you the most room for names, dates, an epitaph, religious symbols and carved or etched artwork. It is also the easiest kind of memorial to find again: an upright stone is visible across a section, which matters to visitors and, decades later, to family historians.
Upright headstones are usually granite. Marble was the standard material through much of the 19th century, but it dissolves slowly in rain, which is why so many old marble stones are hard to read now. Granite holds carved lettering far better. An upright stone also needs a concrete foundation so it doesn't tilt as the ground settles, and cemeteries typically charge for installing it.
Grave marker: flat and low memorials
A flat marker sits flush with the turf so mowers can pass right over it. Flat markers are commonly granite or bronze, and bronze markers are almost always mounted on a granite or concrete base. They cost less than upright headstones in most cases, partly because there is less material and partly because installation is simpler.
The tradeoff is visibility and space. A flat marker holds less text, can be covered by grass clippings, leaves or snow, and is harder to locate without a section map. Bevel and slant markers are a middle ground: they rise a little above the grass, are easier to spot, and are often allowed in sections where full upright stones are not.
Why memorial parks only allow flush markers
A memorial park (sometimes called a lawn cemetery) is designed to look like an open, landscaped park rather than a field of stones. The idea became popular in the US in the early 20th century and spread widely after that. To keep the sweeping lawn view, these cemeteries allow only flat bronze or granite markers set level with the grass. Larger features such as statues, fountains or a central monument are placed by the cemetery itself, not by individual families.
There is a practical reason too. Flush markers make mowing and grounds care faster and cheaper, which supports the cemetery's long-term maintenance. If you are choosing between cemeteries and an upright headstone matters to you, ask about marker rules before buying a plot. You can browse memorial parks and compare them with traditional or church cemeteries in the same area.
Many traditional cemeteries also mix both approaches: some sections allow upright stones, others are "flat marker only." The rule belongs to the section, so two plots in the same cemetery can have different options.
Rules to check before you order
Every cemetery publishes rules and regulations, and memorials are one of the most detailed parts. Before ordering anything, ask the cemetery office for:
- Allowed memorial types by section, including maximum height, width and thickness
- Approved materials and colors, since some sections require a specific granite or bronze finish
- Foundation and installation requirements, and whether the cemetery installs markers itself or allows outside setters
- Fees, such as a foundation charge, setting fee or inspection fee
- Approval process, since many cemeteries want to see a drawing of the design and inscription first
- Rules for companion or double markers if two people will share one memorial
You are generally free to buy a memorial from an independent monument dealer rather than from the cemetery, but the finished memorial must still meet the cemetery's specifications. The guide on what a headstone costs walks through prices and fees in more detail.
Veterans: government headstones and markers
The Department of Veterans Affairs furnishes a government headstone or marker for the unmarked grave of an eligible veteran in any cemetery, at no cost to the family. Options include upright marble or granite headstones, flat granite, marble or bronze markers, and niche covers for cremated remains. For veterans buried in privately marked graves, the VA can also provide a bronze medallion to attach to an existing stone.
National cemeteries follow uniform designs. Some sections use the familiar white upright marble headstones, while others use flat markers only. The family can usually choose an approved emblem of belief and add a short inscription within set limits. To learn more, see what a veterans cemetery is or browse national cemeteries.
How to choose
A few questions tend to settle the decision quickly:
- What does the cemetery allow in that section? This is the one fixed constraint.
- How much do you want to say? Long inscriptions, family names, artwork or more than one person favor an upright headstone.
- Who will visit, and how often? Upright stones and bevel markers are easier for older relatives to find.
- What is the budget, including fees? Flat markers are usually the lower-cost route.
- How long should it last and stay readable? Granite and bronze hold up well; soft stones weather faster.
It helps to walk the section first and see what neighboring memorials look like. Many families find that decides the style more easily than any catalog.