An obituary announces a death, shares the essential facts of a person's life, and tells readers when and where they can pay their respects. A good one starts with the full name, age, place of residence and date of death, gives a short portrait of the person, lists close family, and ends with the service details and any request for donations. Most are written by a family member with help from the funeral home, and they can be as short as a paragraph or as long as a page.
This guide explains what to include, offers a template you can adapt, and covers where to publish and how to protect the family from identity theft.
Obituary or death notice?
The two terms are often used interchangeably, but there is a difference:
- A death notice is a short paid announcement with the basic facts and service details, usually written by the family or the funeral home.
- An obituary is a fuller story of the person's life. Newspapers sometimes write news obituaries about well-known people; for everyone else, families write and pay for the obituary themselves.
Most families today write one piece that does both jobs, then publish it on the funeral home's website, in a newspaper, or both.
What to include
| Section | What it covers |
|---|---|
| Announcement | Full name (including a nickname or maiden name), age, city of residence, date and place of death |
| Life story | Birthplace, upbringing, education, work, military service, marriage, faith, interests and what the person cared about |
| Family | Close survivors, and close family members who died before them |
| Service details | Date, time and place of the visitation, funeral or memorial and the burial or interment |
| Closing | Memorial donations in place of flowers, thanks to caregivers, and a link to an online guest book |
You do not need to include everything. A clear, warm obituary with the key facts is better than a long list of every achievement.
The announcement
Lead with the facts readers need to recognize the person:
[Full Name], [age], of [City], died peacefully on [Month Day, Year] at [place], surrounded by family.
Some families include the cause of death, others prefer not to. Either choice is fine. Gentle phrases such as "after a long illness" or "unexpectedly" give context without detail.
The life story
Pick a few things that capture who the person was rather than a full resume. Specific details bring an obituary to life: the garden they kept, the diner where they ate breakfast every Saturday, the team they coached. If the person served in the military, include the branch and years of service.
The family
List close survivors, usually in this order: spouse or partner, children (with their spouses), grandchildren and great-grandchildren, parents, and siblings. Then name close family members who died before them, often introduced with "preceded in death by." For large families, it is common to give a count instead, such as "12 grandchildren and 5 great-grandchildren."
The service details
Give the date, time and full name of each location, and say whether the service is public or private. If the burial is at a cemetery, name it. If details are not yet set, write "Arrangements are pending with [funeral home]" and update the online version later. See How Long After Death Is a Funeral? for typical timing.
The closing
Mention memorial donations if the family prefers them ("In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to..."). Many families also thank hospice staff, caregivers or a care facility.
A template you can adapt
[Full Name]
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], died on [Month Day, Year] at [place].
[First name] was born in [City] to [Parents' names] and grew up [short description]. After graduating from [school], [he/she/they] worked as [occupation] for [number] years at [employer].
In [year], [first name] married [Spouse's name], and together they [short description of their life together].
[First name] loved [two or three interests], and will be remembered for [a quality or habit people will recognize].
[First name] is survived by [spouse], [children and their spouses], [number] grandchildren and [siblings]. [He/She/They] was preceded in death by [names].
A visitation will be held from [time] to [time] on [day, date] at [funeral home, city], followed by a funeral service at [time] at [place]. Burial will follow at [cemetery].
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to [organization].
Length, publishing and cost
Where to publish
- Funeral home website. Most funeral homes post the obituary online, often with a guest book, at no extra charge as part of their services. Ask what is included.
- Newspapers. Local and hometown papers publish obituaries for a fee, and many add them to an online obituary site as well. You can publish in more than one paper, for example where the person lived and where they grew up.
- Social media and community groups. Sharing a link to the funeral home's page is a simple way to reach friends.
Cost
Newspapers usually charge by the line, the word or the column inch, and a photo often adds to the price. Rates vary widely between papers, so ask for a quote before submitting, and consider a short notice in print with a link to the full obituary online. The funeral home can usually place the notice for you and add the cost to your bill.
Length
There is no required length. A death notice may be a few lines, while an obituary can run to several hundred words. If cost is a concern, keep the printed version short and the online version longer.
Protecting the family from identity theft
Criminals sometimes use obituaries to steal the identity of the person who died or to target the family's home during the funeral. A few precautions help:
- Leave out the exact date of birth; the age and the year are enough.
- Do not include the home address, mother's maiden name, or details that answer common security questions.
- Consider not announcing that the home will be empty during the service, and ask a neighbor to keep an eye on the house.
- Notify the credit bureaus of the death, as described in What to Do When Someone Dies.
Tips for writing it
- Ask for help. Gather facts and stories from relatives, and let one person write while others review.
- Check names and spellings carefully, especially of family members. Errors are hard to correct once printed.
- Write in a natural voice. Light humor is welcome if it fits the person.
- Read it aloud before submitting. It catches mistakes and awkward phrases.
- Confirm the service details with the funeral home and the place of worship or cemetery before publishing.